Free Money Yes Free Money For You From The Fat Boy
The chance of winning £10 has not made anyone reply to my previous blog to let me know “Is There Anybody Out There?” So I’m going to up the ante.
The first 5 people to register an interest before October 1st at accounts@starspreads.com will be sent £5 of my hard earned cash (please supply postal address if you want this, no Star employees please) and will get a further £100 each if I fail to get down to 250lb by Christmas eve 2012 (Currently 280lb).
So there you go money for nothing but unfortunately no chicks for free. Why? To incentivise me to lose weight as I don’t fancy telling the missus there’s no money for doing up the house because I blew it by being a greed b*****d.
It’s funny how the weight creeps on. I remember when I thought 16 stone was lardy for me but now I’d rip your arm off if you offered that to me. Blowing a pony to get a response so I have to lose the weight is fine but to not lose the weight and give out a monkey is unacceptable.
Fruit might be the answer as I do love it but having just eaten the best part of three bunches of grapes it’ll still have to be in moderation. It’s funny how acceptable it seems to be for men to be fat “this tummy is bought and paid for” etc.etc.. I suppose for women there is the dreaded stage where everyone wonders if you’re pregnant and to get offered a seat on the train is the ultimate unintentional rubdown.
I admit I look down my nose at other families when they are all porkers but that is ridiculous – why should I feel better because the rest of my family are a more normal size? If I get any takers I’ll keep them up to date with my weight as well as offer my address if they want to send me any cakes etc.
Another upside of losing weight is that a colleague of mine will give up smoking if I succeed and anything that makes anyone give up this unhealthy, smelly, antisocial and expensive habit has got to be a good thing. If fags came on to the market now they’d have no chance. Addictive, a major cause of nearly all diseases, etc. etc. I don’t think so. Oh well ho hum I’m off to grape it up.
