My Top 5 Aeroplane Villains

I have to travel a lot for this job, so here are the five types of people who annoy me the most in airports and aeroplanes:

1. The Seat Grabber. This guy yanks the back of your chair every time he gets out of his seat, gets into his seat, puts his magazine into the seat pocket, walks past your seat etc. How can these people not appreciate that that thing they are grabbing is actually what is supporting you?

2. The Compartment Opener. This guy stands up before the seat-belt-light has been turned off and opens the overhead compartment above your head. On my last tip, a hardback book had become dislodged and fell onto my head. These guys wind me up because there’s no upside – they aren’t going to get off the plane any earlier.

3. The Early Queuer. “We are now ready to begin boarding…” And everyone rushes to get into a long queue in order to get onto the plane as early as possible. Um why? Why do you want to move from a more comfortable environment to a less comfortable environment?

4. The Luggage Hogger. This guy (girl usually) takes loads of hand luggage, way more than they are allowed. Because they can’t be bothered to check in their bags and wait for them at luggage reclaim, they hog all the luggage space on the plane. Grrr.

5. The escalator standers. It’s not complicated. Stand on the right and overtake on the left. Why should I be forced to move more slowly than I want? I wouldn’t make someone walk faster than they were comfortable – why should they slow me down?