To be read in the tune of “Scat Man”
I’m the Stat Man…
Ski bi di bi di do bap do do bam do
Everybody flutters one way or the other
So check out my message to you.
As a matter of fact,
Whatever you decide to back,
If the Stat Man can do it, so can you.
Everybody says that Andy Murray stutters
But doesn’t ever stutter when he wins?
But what you don’t know
I’m gonna tell you right now
That “the stutter” and the Djok are the same thing.
Why should we be backing any Serbian players who would
Try to blame the surface if they could?
The state of the condition
Insults my intuition
We’d all back a coin toss at 6-4 if we could.
I hear you ask all about the meaning of value…
Well I’m the professor, and all I can tell you,
Is while you’re still sleeping
And the saints are still weeping
The things you call bets haven’t yet had the chance to be gubbed.
I’m the Stat Man
Translation: this is a pick’em match in all but name and you should back Murray at odds against.
*With apologies to John “Scatman” Larkin